He started the conversation with being concerned that he was intruding in her life. That he didnt want to be a constant reminder of the past she obviously was trying her best to forget

They both went back and forth about how grateful they were to be able to be together

Then the conversation changed

A somewhat simple conversation, an almost sickening discussion about wanting to be there for some one so much changed into a conversation about the truth.

Alexis sat, the next morning at her desk under a stack things that needed to be done... she couldnt stop thinking about where their conversation had gone the night before

Everything was fine

They where fine

Kristina was fine

But she couldnt stop replaying the conversation. She couldnt help but think about what she should have done, what she should have said... all the things she should have, a long time ago

++++++++++++++++

"Jax what are we really talking about? Whats the real question? Because its obvious that we are in complete agreement about you being here"

She easily figured him out

"Too late to play dumb? Or try to get off the subject now?" he said casting his eyes as far as he could away from hers

"Jax... talk to me"

He shuffled on the couch next to her obviously regretting bring up the subject he was trying to now avoid

"I noticed a big change in you after you represented Carly in the custody hearing..."

"That was nauseating, atrocious and a debacle to everyone involved and...." she said without even a change in expression
"Alexis... thats precisely why you stuck out like a sore thumb helping Carly"

"Sometimes we do things out of principal and not necessarily because we want to"

"What did she have on you?"

Now he was getting to the point. He also wanted to see how much she could lie

"Jax she came to me and wanted me to help her get custody of her kids... She saved my life in the fire. I owed her"

Alexis didnt only sound unconvincing she wasnt feeling like being very convincing either

"And you wanted to help her get her kids away from Sonny?"

"Yes I did"

"Like you would want him away from Kristina?"

She looked at him almost angry

"Can we not talk about this right now?" she said changing her tone

"I know why you left"

Now she didnt like his honesty

She also didnt like the fact he knew her secret

"Um how about a glass of wine or we could get..."

The change of subject didnt work

"I didnt want to bring this up. Ive thought about it over and over. But honestly I dont want this secret to be built up inside of you. I dont want you to feel like you dont have anyone to talk to. I know thats what you were running away from... please dont feel like you have to keep that secret from me too. Im on your side!"

"But what if one day youre not!" she snapped back

It slipped out of her mouth

Jax looked at her stunned that she would even think that he would abandon her

"Alexis!"
"Im sorry, Im sorry I just... Ned found out, I trusted him more than anyone... I mean everything is ok now but he even scared me enough to make me believe Sonny would find out and then Carly... God, Carly!"

"I wouldnt turn on you!"

"I could never imagine you would but this is about my daughter..."

"I dont want this to come between us. And it would because this makes you sad , this makes you worry all the time. I cant erase time and make things different, I cant promise hell never find out and come after you... But I do want you to know that you always have me and if God forbid the day comes you have to deal with Sonny Corinthos I want to be right there by your side. I will be right by your side"

"Jax this scares me! Youre right every second I was in Port Charles from the day I found out I was pregnant Ive worried. I was worried he would find out, that he would take her away from me, that he would accidently have her killed... The more people that knew, the more chances there were for Sonny to find out!"

Tears streamed down her face despite her relentlessness in trying to stop them

Jax pulled her hands from her face and pulled her towards him. He wrapped his arms around her holding her as tight as he could

She held on for dear life

"He cant ever know, he cant ever know" she repeated almost sounding delirious

Jax couldnt promise he wouldnt ever find out and she knew that

"Ill do anything for the both of you. Ill always keep your secret. Please, please dont ever think that I wouldnt ever be there if either of you needed me "

Alexis cried herself to sleep in his arms

He now knew her deepest secret

***********************

Jax sat on the couch, a few scattered pieces of paper in front of him. Kristina lay relaxed in the shell of his arm

Alexis stood unnoticed in the doorway and stopped immediately grinning at the sight of them
"...Yes... yes... I will see to it that the deal is wrapped up by the end of the week... you will be more than pleased with the results... yes thank you... you have a good night as well"

Alexis watched as Jax hung up the phone and then said a few words to Kristina obviously about how happy it was the deal he had made was running smoothly

Kristina already seemed completely comfortable with the fact that he had become a part of her everyday life

"Well hello you two" Alexis said now standing in the living room behind them

"Mama!" Kristina squealed reaching immediately out for her

"Hello baby girl! Did you miss me?" Alexis said taking her in her arms and pressing kisses into her cheeks

"Hi, we didnt hear you come in" Jax answered his eyes wide at the sight of her

"You two seemed busy with business"

"We had some business overseas to take care of"

"She didnt bother you?"

"No, no shes a good business woman You know its never too early to start..."

Alexis only rolled her eyes

"Jax if you cant get work done, her nanny can keep her"

"She is absolutely no trouble at all besides Kristina and I have been working on this deal all day. And I bought the company in her name, she should be there for the sealing of the deal"

"Jax! Shes a baby!"

"Its an investment Alexis. Think by the time she 5, 10 what it would be worth. I just made a great deal" he said grinning

Alexis looked at Kristina and then back at Jax. She handed Kristina back to him

"Looks like were going to have to teach your mama the value of real estate"

Kristina giggled as if she were right on cue

"Do you want to go out for dinner?"
"Honestly I would love to just order in. I just wanna put on my pajamas and sit really close to you" She said now grinning

"I like that plan" he said returning the grin

++++++++++++++++++++++
Just as planned she sat close against him on the couch in her silk, purple pajamas tucking her feet under him to keep them warm

Dinner was long gone and Kristina was oblivious to the world as she slept in her mamas arms

"Can I just say one more thing about our conversation last night?"

"Sure" Jax said honestly not too concerned because he knew her enough to know she would still be worrying about it

"I really do regret not telling you. I feel horrible I didnt tell you and I dont want you to think I never didnt trust you enough I just..."

"Alexis, Alexis I understand why you didnt, its ok"

"Why are you being so understanding?"

"I love you"

"You always stick up for me. Youre always on my side. My family, Sonny, being married to me when you should have savored the time you had with Chloe... why? Why are you always do this for me?"

"You needed me"

"Im a pain in the ass"

"Yes... sometimes" he said grinning

"But I cant understand why you would do all of this for me" she said still serious

"I told you because I love you"

She shook her head in almost disbelief

"Alexis I know you dont think loving someone is enough. But is for me. And despite the notions about love and relationships that you have I know you love me. I know that you would do anything for me too. Not because you say you will but because you have. You have since the day you agreed to marry me up until right now"

"But havent we agreed on our past about love?"

"Cant one time, we get it right?"

Alexis didnt argue back she leaned in and kissed him

"What was that for?"

"For being optimistic or for proving me wrong. I havent quite decided why yet" she said letting out a shy smile

She then kissed him again this time with a little more conviction

She had found herself lost in her own little world

Her own apartment in the city away from her day to day worries, her daughter who was happy and she was sitting on the couch kissing her best friend. A best friend that she truly did love. A best friend she was truly falling in love with

Alexis looked down at her baby girl in her arms

"Jax, every decision I make affects her. Choosing to be here, and be here with you it affects her"

"Im not afraid to be a part of this. Ill do anything in my power to always be there for the both of you"

Alexis was now biting at her bottom lip. Her eyes looking completely uncertain of what she was about to do

He watched her letting her make the next move

Alexis put the palm of her hand to his cheek

Jax grinned, his eyes shined

She couldnt resist

"I want to make love to you" she said her voice not even a whisper

Without saying a word Jax leaned in and kissed her and then took Kristina from her arms. She followed Jax to where he lay Kristina in her crib

He gave Kristina a kiss and Alexis followed making sure her baby girl was sleeping peacefully
She turned to see Jax holding out his hand to her

She pressed her palm in to his and followed him in to her bedroom

It all began with another kiss...

End Ch. 3