Remembering Me
Ch. 4
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Remembering Me
Ch. 4
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Ch. 4
Ric watched her flinch. He
could tell she was in pain by the way her fists gripped the side of the bed. From the moment she woke up she held on for dear
life as if someone would take her somewhere she didn’t wish to go. But there were moments when instead of just holding
on she would clinch her hands to the bed sheets tightly in to a fist, it was when she was in pain. She had been lying perfectly
still literally for two weeks. It was good for her broken bones but now she had to suffer from the pain they caused when having
to move for the first time. He muscles were weak, and her left arm was in a cast so it made it hard to maneuver herself with
a broken pelvis and not to mention the pain of broken ribs… “Alexis I know you
hate this but I promise it’s to make you better, to get you walking again” the physical therapist said reassuring
her She hadn’t said hardly
anything in the time she had been awake. She was too busy studying what was going on around her. She now had a chance to see
the faces of all the people whose voices she had memorized… and she was trying to figure out where she or Alexis for
that matter fit in all of it “Ok that’s enough
torture for one day… Ric?” “Yeah?” he said
looking to the therapist at attention “If she’ll let
you, continue to help her move her limbs, keep them from getting stiff…” Ric shook his head “Alexis I know you’re
not looking forward to seeing me but I’ll be back tomorrow” She said with a sympathetic smile Alexis looked at her blankly
as she bit her lip as she watched the woman leave her Ric was there with her alone
once again. She could tell he didn’t exactly know what to say to her. He hadn’t known exactly what to say since
he realized she didn’t know who she was “The girls…”
Ric looked at Alexis to see if she had any inkling of who the girls were “Molly and Kristina…” Her eyes widened I recognize their names, the little girls from your stories, your children… “They’re your
little girls…” He said hopeful he would see the familiar look spark in her eyes It took everything Ric had
not to cry. He didn’t mean to but the lost look on her face had become devastating to him. She couldn’t remember
the most important and precious thing in her life… He looked away for a moment
composing himself “Um Kristina is 5 and
Molly is almost a year old…” he took a deep breath quickly in and then out “They’re your daughters” I have children? I mean Alexis has children? I’m so confused, he’s confused. He thinks I’m
her… what do I do? He seems so happy that I’m here, awake… how do I tell him I’m not who he thinks
I am? I’m not their mother… “I know you may be
confused” I shook my head Ric then pulled his wallet
from his back pocket “See, our little girls” he said holding up the pictures of the two children They were beautiful, just as he described. Their faces innocent and bright, they looked happy, both of them
smiling… “Kristina” he
said holding her picture closer to Alexis “She’s beautiful”
I said it rather blankly though I meant every word. She was beautiful. The smile of her face, her eyes so full
of laughter “She is, she really
is beautiful and smart, she’s so smart and she has the wittiest sense of humor… She’s a lot like you” Me, not like me. She doesn’t even know me. I don’t know her… He has to know she isn’t
like me “She likes pink?” I questioned this because she had on a pink sweater. I thought maybe she liked pink, but then again don’t
most little girls? “Pink is her favorite
color. When we let her dress herself she will put on head to toe pink” he said grinning I grinned back at him. Ric telling me how much Kristina loved pink made him smile, so I smiled… “And this, this is
Molly, our baby.” Ric swallowed hard “She’s our baby…” “She looks like you” She did, she looked just like him, like Kristina, but more so like him That made him happy, you could tell “Where are they?”
“They’re at home.
They miss you, they miss you a lot” “Where is home? I didn’t mean to ask such a stupid question but I didn’t know. If I was going to live this woman’s
life I had to know where she lived “Home?” God she
didn’t know where she lived. She didn’t know who she lived with… “Um our apartment, we live there,
you and me and Molly and Kristina… here in Port Charles. Uh, um we’ve been planning to move in to a house for
a while now but you um, you… I, I haven’t talked you in to moving yet…” He was stumbling “Why won’t I
move? Ric grinned nervously once
again “You like the apartment,
you love us there together” It seemed like such an odd and simple answer and couldn’t Alexis love them in a house or wherever? I just shook my head agreeing to all that he said A knock at the door interrupted
them; both looked towards the door waiting for who was on the other side It was the man with the accent. Jax I believe it was… he was handsome, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes.
The times before that he had come to see me, I mean Alexis, he talk to me as if he knew me, her well. He talked about how
he couldn’t live without her… The look on his face said he was happy to see me again, he kissed me gently. Ric didn’t seem to mind “Any word?” Any word on what I thought? Jax took a deep breath in
and then out, then shook his head no Ric immediately looked disappointed,
heartbroken even Any word on what? What was going on? And why didn’t either elaborate? “Ric I’ll be
here with her, you should take break, she and I need to get reacquainted” “I’ll be outside”
I saw what was happening
“Ric” I said his name as if I knew it had rolled off my tongue a million times before “Yeah?” “Maybe you should get
some rest… I’ll be right here” Alexis reassured him “And, and maybe just check on Kristina and Molly
and then you can tell me how they are?” I hoped I had said the right thing. I wanted to comfort him, ease his mind for at least a few minutes…I
knew asking about Kristina and Molly would help Ric walked towards me, kissing
me on the cheek as if not to frighten me “I’ll go check
on them” he said giving her an empty smile “You’ll be ok here with Jax” She nodded yes “I guess I should formally
introduce myself, though it feels a little strange” Alexis shook her head “I’m Jasper Jacks,
your ex-husband…” he said proudly My ex-husband? Wait ok Alexis was married to him, they’re friends? “I mean the whole ex-husband,
ex-wife thing is a bit trivial between us, which is a long story, but you are the greatest ex-wife in the world. You’re
my best friend, you have been for a long time now…” You’re her ex-husband/best friend… ok “I know this is all
a lot to process. I know that you’re probably really confused, but we’re here for you, we want to help you recover;
help you get your memory back. We love you Alexis so much. Your husband, Ric, your little girls, they love you so much She was loved wasn’t she? He had to stop saying these things, and Ric had to stop saying these things.
I was starting to believe them. I was starting to believe that it was my life, that I lived here, that I knew these people,
that this was my body and my heart and my mind… It had been over and over in my head and if this was her life, I wanted
it… But the other part of me knew it wasn’t mine to just take “You and I have had
some interesting adventures together. You and I crashed in a helicopter in the Crashed in a helicopter? Was he kidding? And why was he grinning about it? “We crashed?” “Yeah but we survived,
obviously” “Were we scared?” Again stupid questions “There were a few moments”
he said honestly Alexis didn’t ask another
question and Jax didn’t volunteer another story He ran his hand down her
cheek “You’ll get through
this ok. I know right now everything is turned upside down but you’ll get through this. You’ve been through too
much this isn’t the end ok” Been through so much? What did he mean by been through so much? What
had Alexis been through besides whatever had happen to her now and a helicopter crash? I mean as if that weren’t enough… But what did Jax mean? Jax just sat there with me for the longest time. He made sure I was comfortable, told me about investing in
a new company and how he needed me to get better so I could give him advice. I thought how would I give him advice? Did I
know to give him advice? I liked that he talked to me about those things though, I knew nothing about them. It made me feel human, normal
for a second, not as if I were playing the role of someone else. *************** He looked better, he was cleanly shaven. You could see his handsome face, the curve of his jaw line, his lips… I reached for him. I missed him. Glad that this stranger I had become so reliant upon was with me once again.
I am not a needy person. I am not dependent on anyone for that matter… I just like him here with me “Hi you” He said
softly “Did you sleep well?” Alexis nodded her head yes “I must have fallen
asleep on Jax” She said not remembering saying goodbye to him “He said you nodded
off” Ric said giving a slight grin “Guess I’m not
very good company” “You’re great
company; you just need all the rest you can get” Alexis nodded again “Hey I brought you
dinner, enough of this hospital food right?” Her eyes widened “I picked up some Italian.
I got you the lasagna from that place on 5th. You usually crave it so I thought…” Ric stopped to look
at the expression on her face “I’m sorry you may not have even wanted Italian I just…” “No, no that sounds
great” “You sure? Alexis smiled “Can I help you sit
up a little?” “Please” His body was suddenly pressed to mine as he locked his arms around me, trying to help me sit up. I winced in
pain “Are you ok? Did I
hurt you?” “No, it’s just;
you know just when I move…” “You sure you’re
ok?” “I’m ok” I was more than sure I was ok. There he was close to me once again, his hands touching me, and I had a chance
once again to breathe him in… What was I thinking? Natasha what are you thinking? I don’t know who this man is and more importantly
he doesn’t really know me. He is obviously in love with his wife, I have to remember that… but I can’t help
it, when I’m around him I just feel… I feel all the things I had only wished to feel before “Good huh?” “It is. You’re
right much better than hospital food” We sat in silence for a moment “Um do we eat at this
Italian place often?” She asked “Put it this way, they
say, “the usual?” when we walk in” Alexis grinned “Do we eat out a lot?” “We only eat out! Neither
of us can cook very well” “Oh” Ric let out a tiny bit of
laughter I longed to hear what he sounded like when he laughed It was blissful “Maybe it won’t
be much longer and you’ll be out of here… I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, anything you want for breakfast,
lunch or dinner…” It wouldn’t be much longer? How long would it be? Where would I go? With who, Ric? He’ll find out
I’m not her, he’ll hate me…He’s smiling, he promising me breakfasts together… “I would go home with
you? To our apartment?” I had pieced all the pertinent information together. But it was as if I needed to verify everything these days Ric shook his head “Yeah,
you’ll come home with me…” I couldn’t help but take in a deep breath “Hey, we won’t
go until you’re ready ok?” Alexis looked at him with
relief “You have a little
sauce at the corner of your mouth” Ric said grinning as he reached to wipe it away Alexis pulled away quickly
and Ric’s hand hung frozen Why did I do that? Why did I pull away from him? Part of me I know is getting acquainted with him, and maybe
it is the other part of me that’s just not comfortable with someone touching my face “I’m sorry”
He looked at her crushed “No, don’t be,
it’s me ok” “No it’s not
you” Alexis tried to lean into
Ric “Are you just gonna
leave sauce on my face?” I was trying Ric ran the napkin gently
across her lips, doing his best not to disrupt her now yellowed cheek He stopped and stared, her
eyes watching his “Can I see?”
Alexis asked watching him look at her “Maybe you should wait
a few…” “Ric” Ric leaned over and pulled
the hand held mirror from the bedside table drawer You could tell he was hesitating “I need to see. I need
to see how everyone sees me” There was more truth to that
than she told Alexis looked at herself
as Ric held the mirror up to her There I was, or at least with the face I remember. If I was being mistaken for someone else... I must have been
a hell of a ringer for Alexis Davis. My eyes wandered around my face and neck. My cheeks were yellow, though they were still
outlined a bit in a deep purple. My eyes were dark and the cut on the top of my forehead must have been where I received my
concussion. I had stitches there, but it was still swollen… My top lip was still a bit swollen too, and you could tell
that it had also been bloody… my neck was slightly bruised and had marks that had been impaled in to me… It was
my face, there I was or there she was… it’s funny I didn’t know anymore… Alexis began to cry, tears
falling from the corner of her eyes “Its ok, it’s
ok. You’ll heal, you’re beautiful face will heal. It doesn’t matter Alexis!” he was stumbling and
she couldn’t stop herself. She had finally seen with her own two eyes what had happened to her, and why there were so
many sympathetic eyes… “Alexis listen to me, it’s ok, it’ll be ok... Alexis” “My name is Natasha!”
She blurted Ric’s eyes widened
and he took a step back from the anger in her voice Oh God! What had I just done? I got upset… I saw my face, I got upset…And then I just blurted it
out, I blurted my name out “Oh God…oh God,
oh God” was all she could say And he didn’t know
what to say Ric opened his mouth but
no words followed He knew that he was standing
there face to face with his wife. The woman he loved and adored. The mother of his children… the woman he would die
for… But she didn’t know
that and now with a million different unanswered questions not only did she not know that her name was Alexis but she was
sure it was Natasha… “Natasha” He said her name out loud
“I wanted to tell you
who I was but you seemed so happy to have her back. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want to tell you
I wasn’t her, and you kept telling me about how happy you were and how much you loved her, and your children and , and…”
She couldn’t catch her breath They both sat there in silence,
neither knowing what would come next until it did Ric finally said the only
thing he knew to say “I love you” She looked shocked. After
all that she just told him, he said that he loved her? “You don’t know
me” She protested “Hey, hey… listen
to me” he said taking her hands in to his She stopped to listen, and
then he said what he said… “It doesn’t matter
if I’ve known you for the last two weeks or if I’ve known you for the last twenty years, I know that I love you.
And I know this may scare you but if you never remember your life with me before now it’s ok because I will stand by
your side and always be here to hold you and answer your unknowns and just love you… You don’t remember how we
got married but I didn’t know you very well then either and now I can’t live my life without you… I will
call you by whatever name you wish but on the inside; in your soul, and inside your heart you are still the person that I
love so much. And in time maybe you’ll realize that I’m the man that you love so much…” She just stared at him “So what do I do next?”
She said, her voice broken “Trust me… just
trust me” he said not taking his eyes from hers She was holding her breath End. Ch.4
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