He could feel her breath on his neck

The lobe of his ear tingled

One hand at the small of her back the other trailing up and down her spine

Her arms wrapped around his neck, subconsciously, her pointer finger lazily played with the ends of his hair

It looked more like an embrace than dancing though each step they took still in perfect sync with the other

“Did I tell you how beautiful you look?”

“Only once or twice” she said grinning

Her eyes now on fire like the way they once were

Ric had told her that night how beautiful she was over and over

It would slip from his mouth

He had stood hours before in the apartment unabashedly looking her up and down. But she didn’t mind. At that moment the way he looked at her felt good. It felt beautiful and with nothing but admiration

Ric would watch her place the last dangling, silver earring in her ear, and watch her take a step back to assess

“Perfect” he said standing behind her

“Thank you” she said almost bashfully

She was perfect

That blue dress was made for her

It was subtle, elegant; a tasteful slit up the side to reveal what every man who passed her would take a double take for, her legs

She turned to Ric; he wasn’t standing it seemed two inches from her

Heels

She giggled, tickled that she could almost look him square in the eyes in those heels

The one thing missing

Her neck bare

A perfect place for the diamond heart pendant that she hadn’t worn since he wrecked both of their lives

He didn’t deserve to have her wear his heart; he would have to earn it

He wouldn’t ask or suggest that she even think of wearing it

He would earn her love, her trust again. He wanted her to take his heart back on her own

For now the empty space would be a reminder

Dinner  

Despite their efforts of “grown up” conversation, the conversation seemed to revolve around Kristina and Chloe

Kristina had become wise beyond her three years of life and had such ingenious but comical things to say at the most opportune times

Chloe had a thousand faces. Her mother’s smirk, her father’s pondering look…. And that face of laughter. Pure unspoiled joy

It was easy to talk about what they did, what they said. Both Ric and Alexis’ life revolved around them. Both were enamored with them

Chocolate, decadent chocolate layered with more chocolate. Strawberries garnishing the sides of the plate

 Alexis’ eyes lit up at the size of the desert and its contents “Made especially for you”

 The waiter said as he sat it down in front of her

“Ric?” Alexis said looking up at him

“All I said was you loved chocolate” He said grinning “The chef did the rest”

Ric picked up a spoon and slid it through the middle of the layers scooping up a bite and placing it to her lips

Alexis quickly obliged

Her eyes closed slowly

Ric watched as she let out a faint breath

“Good?”

“Good isn’t the word for it” she said finally opening her eyes to Ric’s pleased face

“I knew that would get you” he said now grinning

“Uh hmm”

His fingers reached for the chocolate left on her lip

His finger now tracing her bottom lip

That was it, the very moment. The very moment when Alexis would have leaned in to him for a discreet kiss, the moment when Ric’s hand would have slid a little further up her thigh under the table, the moment when dancing afterwards would have been forgotten as she whispered ‘take me home’ in to his ear

Alexis pulled away and Ric quickly tried to recover

“Another bite?”

Ric handed her the spoon and then picked up another for his own

Safe; a safe question, a safe distraction

Dancing

It seemed more like an embrace than dancing

They danced close

So close anyone who didn’t know them, who didn’t know the now colorful story of Attorney Alexis Davis and Attorney Ric Lansing would have thought, look at those two in love

Alexis looked at Ric. He grinned but she didn’t back

“What is it?” he asked quietly holding his breath

She had hesitated all night about telling her good news

It was great news but telling him made her heart ache

“Alexis”

“I bought a house” she said rather unexcitedly

They stopped dancing

“That’s, that’s great” Ric stumbled as he tried to pick the rhythm of the dance back up

“Ric, I know…” she said following his lead

He said nothing as she continued

“I know it seems weird or…” she laughed nervously

“Heartbreaking” Ric interjected

“Yeah”

“I’m happy for you. It’s what you and the girls need. A home, a back yard…”

“Ric”

She watched him swallow hard

“It’s just hard not being apart of it” he admitted

“I know, I know” she said her eyes clenching shut

“I mean, my wife and kids are moving in to a house they’re going to be happy in, that they’re going to call home… And I’m, I’m not”

“Ric we just have to…”

“It’s entirely my fault. I brought it all on myself. You gave me the life I always wanted and I screwed it up. I don’t deserve it”

“You do deserve it! You deserve to have all of it. But right now playing husband and wife with me isn’t how it’s going to work. If you and I are going to be together, then we have to do it right for the sake of what’s left of our sanity and our hearts and if anything for the sake of our children”

Ric shook his head agreeing

“I know I can’t expect things not to change. I know I can’t expect for you to not go on with your life…”

“I’m not going on without you! But you’re right I can’t stand still while we’re trying to figure out what is going on between us. I can’t do that because Chloe and Kristina need a home and not just a cramped apartment that their undomesticated mother feels secure in. I have to create this life for them and I want you in it. I would love more than anything if we were moving in to this house as a family, as if we were just plain ol’ boring us. But it’s not reality at least not right now…”

Ric leaned in close enough that her chin rested on her shoulder

“Is it far?” he said suddenly

His change in subject

Alexis let out a deep breath

“Grandview”

“A block or so from my apartment” Ric said wide eyed

Alexis shook her head giving him a slight smile

“It will be ok” she assured

“Because I’ll make it ok” Ric responded very seriously

Alexis looked in to his eyes then buried her chin in to his shoulder

Her hand slid to the back of his head

She was holding him

They were dancing and holding

She wanted to kiss him for solace

He wanted to kiss her because he knew she could give him just that… solace

His hands once wrapped around her waist, now only pulled her in to a firmer embrace

“We should go”

Ric pulled from her and shook his head agreeing

She needed to go

If she didn’t she would be the one that caved

She would be the one that kissed him first, that lead him to the apartment and would guide his hand to the undoing of her dress…

She would have caved first

Home

He would come in only to kiss their already sleeping little girls goodnight

“Thank you for tonight” Alexis said fumbling with the lapel of his jacket

Ric smiled “You’re very welcome. Thank you for accepting to go out on such short notice”

She grinned

Another awkward moment between lovers that weren’t

She leaned in giving him a lingering kiss to the cheek

Just what he needed, it would get him through

He didn’t say the word goodnight. Ric didn’t say anything else at all

He let her watch him step on the elevator and he watched her eyes until the door closed between them

End Ch. 6