“You’re not working today?”

“I somehow managed the day off”

Alexis still leaned against the frame of her front door

“A peace offering” Peter said as held out the brown paper bag to Alexis

“I told you everything was fine between us”

“Ok then a guilt offering”

Alexis took the bag from Peter

“You don’t have to feel guilty either” she said as she stepped aside to invite him in as she peered in to the bag

“I thought you might need a break from unpacking and a little lunch anyway”

“You shouldn’t have”

“Yes I should have because as I said it’s a guilt offering and I wanted to see you…”

“Peter everything’s fine, we’re fine”

“Good because I really want us to be. But I can’t apologize enough for what happened at the hospital the other day…”

Alexis sat down on the couch and offered the seat beside her

“Ric lost his temper”

“I goaded him Alexis”

“He shouldn’t have hit you”

“In his defense, I made a cheap shots, I wanted to push his buttons” Peter admitted

“But he wouldn’t have hit you if he didn’t already feel guilty or jealous or whatever it was…” she said sounding frustrated

“No I don’t think he would have but I didn’t give him any reason to not feel guilty or to be jealous… I pushed him”

“Why are you defending him?

“I’m not! Believe me I’m not. I just don’t want you to think that I was completely innocent in what happened. I said things to Ric that I had wanted to say. I wanted him to feel awful; I wanted him to hurt just like he has hurt you”

“It doesn’t matter now what happened… You and I are ok” she said as she tried to brush the conversation away

Peter only sat there and watched her as she pulled the sandwiches from the bag

“Why do I not like how calm you are about all of this?”

“Because I’m tired of talking about it. I’m tired of questioning and making excuses and I’m tired of hurting because of all of it. You and I are fine. Ric and I at the moment are not. He’s feeling guilty for what happened to me and he’s feeling guilty about hell, our life together…”

“And?”

“And I’m not chasing after him. I told him what I wanted out of life and I told him that I could have with or without him. Yesterday, today and I’m planning on tomorrow doing just that. Living my life without him”

“Is that really what you want?”

“You’re sure you’re not here to defend him?”

“I’m here for you! I’m asking you this because I care about you and I want you to be sure…”

“I’m ok. I promise I am. And I’m glad you want me to be sure, and that you care enough about me to play devils advocate but I’m ok”

“Why don’t I believe you’re ok then?”

“I am because I’m choosing to be, and because I have to be… for my girls. All of this; my marriage, my heart problem…They all just have to be a little bump in the road for me. I have to get on with my life. Learn to live it and if it’s without Ric, it’s without Ric. I’m tired of hurting and the fear of having a panic attack or my heart failing me and my baby and my three year old being here with me is enough to put me on the right track”

“Good” Peter took Alexis hand running his fingers over hers “Good for you for realizing that your health and your little girls are the most important’

“What’s so stupid about it all is that I’ve known it all along”

“Alexis, you’re human, you just want what everyone else wants… love”

Alexis took a deep breath

She was thinking

“You know what…” Peter looked at her with his intense green eyes at full attention “I never really thought about needing love. I mean in the magnitude that I need it now. I told Ric that I never saw myself with the husband, and the kids, and the house with the picket fence… and it’s true I never did. I never wanted it. But you’re right all of this time I just needed love, and whether I get it or I even want it from Ric, he may not be the answer. He may not be the answer anymore” She said again frustrated

“Alexis” Peter said sincerely “I want to help you get over him”

Alexis squeezed his hand tight

“Alexis”

“Yeah?”

Peter leaned in and kissed her…

He kissed her gently on the lips, tugging at her bottom lip as he pulled away

Her face

She looked a bit stunned

Peter closed his eyes “I’m sorry” he said as he began to stand up, giving her space

“No don’t be” she said tugging at his hand before he could fully stand

Peter sat back down beside her

Alexis looked at him

His face, his beautiful, sincere and charming face

“It feels like everything in my life is colliding…” She said honestly “Ric, my girls, my heart… this house… and even you coming in to my life. It all just seemed to collide at once”

“I know and I shouldn’t have just kissed you. You didn’t need me to”

“I’m not sure if I did or if I didn’t”

Peter suddenly seemed more at ease

Alexis turned closer to him

“You remember when you told me I deserved a man who could give me what I wanted and what I needed?”

“And I believe you said maybe that wasn’t supposed to happen that way for you…”

“But you said, ‘It will if you let it’…”

Peter gave a slight smile satisfied that she remembered their conversation so well

“Peter”

“Yeah?” he answered hopefully

“Can you do that?”

He swallowed the lump in his throat

“I would try” he said as a grin covered his face

Alexis leaned in and returned his kiss

She pulled back to see the reaction on his face and then kissed him again

His lips, his touch everything about him at that moment felt like comfort

And maybe at that moment that was all she needed… comfort

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“We have a new house!”

“I know! Do you like your new house?”

Kristina grinned widely as she shook her head yes

“My room is purple”

“I know! Your very favorite color!”

“Yep!”

Ric had managed a picnic at the playground for him and Kristina and Chloe. Chloe sat in her carrier while he and Kristina seemed to chat away

He wasn’t prepared for what she would ask next

“Are you going to live in our new house with us?”

He didn’t know what to tell her, what the answer was

Yes he did. He knew what the answer was, the answer was no

“Your new house is for you and Chloe and mommy”

“Why can’t you come and stay with us. We have lots of room to play”

“Because sweetheart I can’t live there”

“Why not?”

Ric could feel the fluttering in his stomach

He felt sick

He was glad he didn’t have to explain to her what an idiot he was, and how much he had hurt her mother…

He was glad he didn’t have to explain how every mistake he made haunted him and now the realization that she fully understood he wasn’t there was breaking his heart and making him feel sick

“You know what?” Ric took Kristina in to his arms “I made some mistakes, a lot of mistakes. But I love you and Chloe and mommy more than anything in this world and I just have to try really hard to get mommy to take me back”

Kristina looked at him puzzled

“You not come and live at the new house?” She asked again just wanting her answer

“I hope I will be able to soon ok”

Kristina settled in to his lap with her sandwich satisfied finally with his answer

“I’ll get mommy back. And I’ll make everything right… I’ll work every second to make everything right” Ric said as he kissed her on the top of her head

He then looked at Chloe now sleeping soundly

“I’ll be the man you all need me to be, I promise”

End Ch. 11