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Jax sat at his desk talking on the phone to an international deal he had been working on for months. But what seemed so import before he now seemed to have no interest in. His mind wondered in and out of the conversation.
Had she told Sonny? He knew she didnt want to and he thought maybe he of all people might have pushed her too much to tell him.
He wondered how Sonny reacted. He should have never let her tell him on her own. What if he blew up at her? Though Jax knew good and well Alexis would never stand for it if he did. But what was he thinking Sonny protected Alexis and despite everyones wishes they were friends, they were more than friends.
Jax for a second almost felt sorry for Sonny, sorry that he would never be able to experience real love from Alexis and know what its like to have a baby with her.
Jax shook his head in disbelief of what he was thinking. He didnt care if Corinthos was hurting, he deserved to hurt Or was Jax thinking of himself?
Jax snapped back into his conversation but instead of trying to argue his points of the deal instead he told his associate that an emergency had just come up and he would have to continue the call later.
Alexis tried to read as a tear interrupted her as it fell against the paper. She tried to wipe the tears from her face and ignore them as she began to read again but her emotions were too overwhelming.
She pushed the papers aside and stood up and before she knew it she was out the door and across the hall, not giving Johnny even a chance to open the door to Sonnys penthouse.
She walked in to see Sonny sitting on his steps with his face in the palm of his hands. He looked up to see the tears running down her face as she too could see the hurt she had just caused him.
I never meant to do this to you she said her voice cracking in nervousness
He looked at her for a moment as if he were choosing his words carefully.
Im at least half to blame for everything. For not being careful and getting you pregnant, for making you feel for letting you know our baby would be safer without me in the picture
Sonny
She sat down on the stairs beside him and leaned her body against him laying her head on his shoulder and in their own way comforting each other.
Im doing it to you. Im doing it to you again I m taking away a baby you so desperately want arent I?
Sonny turned his head from her.
Sonny?
Alexis please dont do this to me. I let you go before, I tried to be rational and calm and let you make the decision, but Alexis please dont take this baby from me
Sonny I dont want to ruin our lives
How can we ruin lives with a precious baby. A baby that you said yourself you wanted. How can we ruin things if the baby has two parents that love it?
Alexis pulled her knees close to her bowing her head trying to have a complete thought.
What have we done? she finally whispered almost as if she didnt want him to hear.
Maybe this is Gods way of giving a gift that we both need
Alexis looked up at Sonny taking in his words that had become extremely powerful
She pressed her face against the side of his letting him feel her breathe
This was not the affection of a lawyer/ client nor was it of a friend. This was affection of a lover. The affection of one that had become familiar with the other.
Can we do this day by day?
We dont have any other choice do we?
If we get out of control
Weve never been shy to put each other in our places he said doing anything to make peace
Can I walk out the door and know we can work this out without making this a battle over mine and yours
I just dont want to be shut out Alexis
I know
She sat there for a moment longer and then she stood up and walked to the door as his eyes followed her footsteps. Before she walked out she turned to look at Sonny
Are you ok?
Im fine
She turned but again looked at Sonny
Sonny?
Yeah
Could we please teach our child to be a little more open than we are? Were kind of ridiculous
Sonny let a shy grin cover his face and he stood up walking towards her. He stood in front of her for a moment then he held her, it wasnt a hug it was a man holding a woman.
He broke from her and she studied his face
My God I hope this baby had your amazing eyes. She said before catching her next breath. Then she opened the door and closed it behind her.
Johnny who was clueless to what had happened watched her red tear stained face go past him without a word as she looked up to see Jax standing at her door as if he knew where she had been and was waiting for her. She never stopped walking. Jax turned the knob of the door letting her fall into the comfort and barriers of her own penthouse.
He walked in shutting the door behind him and she had yet to turn her back from him. And she continued to stand there as Jax listened to her trying to catch her breath
Turkey on white with none of the gross stuff he said, as his voice seemed to echo throughout her living room
He watched Alexis shake her head
Isnt that the way you like it? I believe you specifically ordered your turkey sandwich one time with no gross stuff
Alexis turned to look at him with her face swollen and still red
Please tell me he didnt hurt you
No I hurt him, she said knowing she was defending Sonny
Alexis walked towards Jax slightly hesitating with each step. Then by the time she reached in she buried her face into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her holding her body still from the sudden shakes that ran through it.
I cant shut him out Jax
Alexis this is your baby
Jax its his baby too. Put yourself in his place, think about all the hurt hes been through
Alexis hes to blame
Jax some people have never had anything to call their own or anyone to love unconditionally or anyone to love them unconditionally. She paused for a moment pulling away from Jax set to give her argument. Dont you get it Jax thats what we have in common. Thats why we understand each other
Im so sorry Alexis
Dont be, dont pity me. Sonny made the point that this may be Gods way of giving us a chance to fill a space that we both need to fill. I dont know anything about having a baby but you especially have made me see what a wonderful thing Ive been given. Im still scared and I still doubt myself every other minutebut I have a wonderful man who is standing in my living room holding a turkey sandwich just the way I like it who has vowed to love me and take care of me and my baby. In which he also assures me is not out of a sense of obligation towards friendship or the fact that I am the best ex-wife he has or will ever have
Alexis Ill be a man about this I would do anything to have him away from you but youre right hes the father and I have to accept that
Thank you she said in a sort of relief
Alexis
Yeah
What exactly does it mean when I tell them no gross stuff?
Alexis let out a spirited laugh that made Jaxs heart flutter
They sat and had lunch together and Jax did his best to try to get her mind off of well anything.
Your shoulders are way too tense, he said placing his hands on each of her shoulders
You think its stress? she said grinning
You have stress in your life?
I know hard to believe
Jax rubbed at her shoulders and she moaned at how good it felt to have him give her a message
After Jax finished he sat down on the couch across from her and took her feet in his hand.
If I could only get you to be my house boy, she said kidding as she let her head rest on the back of the couch and her eyes close
He knew just the right spots and he liked the fact that he was watching her decompress right in front of him
Felt the baby anymore? he said watching her eyes open with light in them
Constantly tumbling but its nice, lets me know the babies there
Do you wanna know if its a boy or a girl?
Well its about to kill you she said grinning at him
I can wait if you make me
No I want to know. I really cant stand it!
So we can find out? Jax said wide eyed like a little kid
Yes we can find out, she said not being able to resist the adorable look on Jaxs face
Hey shouldnt you be working. I thought you were in the middle of one of your billion dollar deals
Trying to get rid of me?
Of course not!
Actually I was in the middle of a conference call today but I couldnt get a certain someone off my mind
Jax you knew I was fine
Can I help I want to bundle you up and carry you in my pocket to keep you safe he said kidding
You would if you could, she said rolling her eyes
Jax leaned in closer to her
I should probably go and finish that call I guess before I get in more trouble with my associates
Youre sure youll be ok? as he said playfully intertwined his fingers with hers
Ill be fine, I have some work to keep me busy.
Jax stood up from the couch and then leaned down to give her their usual quick kiss on the lips and he went to let go of Alexis hand but she held on and he grinned as his clear blue eyes sparkled
Do you want to come stay with me tonight?
Actually Im gonna go solo tonight. Spend some time alone
Ok well you know where I am
Ill see you tomorrow ok, she said almost sounding disappointed
Ok he said matching her tone
After Jax left Alexis paced around her penthouse for what seemed like forever. She was walking and thinking, walking and reading, walking and thinking some more and then walking to just pace.
She finally sat back down on the couch still holding the same pieces of paper in her hands she had been trying to read all day
She stopped and placed her hand on her stomach were she could feel the baby
Youre not ever going to let me work again are you? she said rubbing her stomach as if she were comforting the baby and she tried to read on but she stopped again
She couldnt get anything she wanted to off her mind
I didnt mean to do this to you I didnt mean to make your life so complicated even before you are born please baby forgive me, Im so sorry she said out of the blue to anyone who might have been listening
She paused for a moment thinking of all she had just pleaded and then squeezed her arms into her chest as if she were creating comfort for herself
I just didnt know I could love you so much already
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