She had done just as she said she would she got on with her life

She woke up every morning and she lived memory or not

This morning however instead of waking up to a life she had created, a life she had invented, she woke up as Natasha Cassadine a.k.a. Alexis Davis, the Alexis Davis.

She had a morning ritual, a routine - Ned took his shower, Alexis had her coffee

So she began her ritual ignoring every familiar thought in her head until she poured her coffee

Her life, her memory suddenly poured to the rim of her coffee cup

It was harsh and inhuman

It was liberating and fulfilling

It was what made her so strong and so weak

It was invigorating and exasperating

It was every horrible and wonderful thing that had ever happen to her.

She woke up that morning and she remembered everything

She stared, she stood and stared at the wall that was painted by sunlight

She was celebrating her tortured soul silently

All of a sudden she was dealing with a past and a present and the missing puzzle piece that link them together

It wasnt confusion it was unjustifiable.

She couldnt comprehend why she had to go through all that she had and she couldnt comprehend why she had a second chance

+++++++++++

Ned made his way down the steps preoccupied with his tie

He looked up to see her standing with her back turned to him. She didnt seem to notice he had just come rumbling down the stairs. It was as if she were in a trance
Alexis?

He walked to her and his eyes widened at her tear stained face

Honey whats wrong

She smiled sheepishly

Alexis you have that look on your face

I remember everything

What?

I woke up this morning and I just realized I remember everything

Are you ok?

She didnt look ok

Im here, Im safe, Im with you

Its a lot to handle all at once

No not remembering who the hell I am is a lot to handle at once

Should we call the doctor?

I dont think so, I mean I remember what else is there to cure me of?

Honey this is a traumatic thing

Alexis looked at Ned and then held her hand up to his cheek and felt his newly shaven skin against her palm

Her mind was racing a million miles a minute and Ned could tell she wasnt all right

She let her hand slip from his cheek down to his chest and she held her hand there for a moment as if she were trying to feel his heart beat

And then she walked away

She left him standing there in the kitchen alone

++++++++

She stood in the middle of the living room looking around as if she were now in an unfamiliar place

Ned watched her every move from the doorway

She knew he was there and she didnt mind that he watched her, she knew it was his way of protecting her

Helena tried to kill me the day Caulder kidnapped me, Helena had ordered him to kill me and instead he tried to protect me from her by taking me to Switzerland

Ned wasnt sure what to say, what to argue apologize

She continued

Helena found us and she held us in a basement somewhere and Caulder and I escapedI guess I had lost my memory by then Next thing I know I was begging to know my name and anything about who I was and I was thinking Caulder was the only person I had in the world

She needed that moment to get through everything not to relive her past just focus on how she got where she was

Then she remembered

She held her hand out behind her before turning to Ned

Then there you were and I was completely confused because for some reason I knew I was suppose to trust you, that you would take me home

Ned walked towards her intertwining his fingers into hers

She turned to look at him

Arent I more trouble than Im worth?

She didnt crack a smile, she was serious

Youre worth every ounce of trouble

He wrapped his arms around her and he held her

She let him

She wanted to feel safe in her own skin

And the way Neds body surrounded her he was her skin, her outer shell that could shield her from the world if needed be

Alexis its all right to grieve if you need to

Im not going backwards, I cant now

It was a lot to handle before, now to just jump back into your life

Im ok, I promise

Ned let go of her and took her attention with his eyes

You would always swear to me you were honestly ok

And you knew the truth

I knew you needed me

I am honestly ok when Im with you

Well whatever happens to you, happens to me?

That could be dangerous

A smirk went across her face and Ned couldnt help but smile at her amusement with herself

I just worry about you, you know that and I guess I just worry that you will never know how much I love you

Alexis took the palm of Neds hand and pressed it against her heart

I know that when I tell you Im ok, you can tell when I am and when Im really not I know that when I say leave me alone you wont because you know I never want to really be alone And I know that you love me and Im sorry that Ive never made it clear that I know just how much you love me and also how much I so love you

There was a deep silence before Ned sat down on the arm of the couch looking up to Alexis as she still held the palm of his hand to her

Alexis promise me forever

Before she could answer she breathed in the moment and let his words fill up her lungs

She took in the sight of him and remembered his dimpled grin and the way it felt to kiss him and just how it felt to love him and to be loved by him

And she said

Forever