She stood in front of him in his penthouse

She was confessing

It wasnt fair keeping secrets from Jax while he worried about her

In her confessions of her time with Ned she ended up telling truths she didnt intend to

Just tell him

What!

Tell him

Jax, Ned already thinks Im going crazy

He doesnt think youre going crazy

Jax one minute I push him away the next minute I cant stay away from him And its because I dont want him to get hurt and then what do I do?

Alexis its obvious you love him, especially to keep it a secret

I didnt mean to lie to you

I understand why you did

You shouldnt justify the things Im doing

Im only justifying all this because you need him, because he needs you

She did need him so much

Jax how do I assure him Im not crazy?

Alexis he knows you by heart. He knows that youve probably thought this over repeatedly, especially something like this

So what do I say hey Ned this may seem a little wacko especially coming from me but

Tell him

Im just suppose to say to him Ned I want to have a baby, your baby? Oh my God thats ridiculous

Its not ridiculous

Jax!

What?

Its not that easy

Alexis things change, people change, life happens. Having the chance to know what it feels like have a baby changed you and thats ok

Why are you so understanding?

Because you obviously need someone to be understanding for you

She swallowed hard

She was willing to make a strong argument

She was willing to admit how crazy it all sounded

She now knew what it was like, she knew how it felt and how she wanted to feel

She never thought she would know that feeling, know the joy, know the absolute peace that having a baby inside her would bring

You just dont know how it felt Jax, how it felt to love someone that much and not even know them I dont want to replace my baby I just wanna feel that way again

She seemed to be pleading with Jax

She was pleading with herself

Alexis listen to me. If youre asking me will he be shocked when you say I want to have a baby? Yes. When you say will you be the father? Definitely yes. What will he say or do? Honestly I dont know he loves you, and hes told me he loves every thing about you even your crazy ideas

That doesnt help

Alexis its your decision. You can continue to live your life the way you do and starve yourself for moments of happiness, moments that can now only be filled by one thing or you can tell him how you feel and what you want what you seem to need

What about if I wrote him a letter?

Alexis

OK!

He kissed her, their usual kiss

Thank you

Anytime

She smiled

Oh and Alexis

Yeah

Sometimes you have to help the healing process along

She shook her head agreeing

And she closed the door behind her